Self-confidence is extremely important to our well being. It’s what enables us to believe in ourselves in matters both great and small. We would never try anything new, learn anything new, or grow in anyway if we lacked confidence altogether. For some of us, self-confidence is a problem, and anxiety tends to only worsen this. Anxiety can easily rob you of the confidence you need to get out there, excel, and be happy and well. Here are some pointers on how to stop being anxious and how to be more confident.
Examine Your Thoughts
Step one is to take a step back from your situation, and objectively examine your innermost thoughts. Our actions have a funny way of being the result of what we think and believe. Take a pen and paper and jot down scenarios in which you feel awkward and uncomfortable due to a lack of confidence. Then note what your thoughts usually are in such situations. Do you feel that you aren’t pretty or smart enough? Do you feel that everyone else is judging you or making fun of you?
You need to eliminate these thoughts from your life! It starts by being enough for yourself. It starts with seeing your own worth and loving yourself. Yes, this takes time and hard work, but you are definitely worth it. When we stop making other people’s opinions worth more than what we think and feel about ourselves, confidence grows exponentially.
Explore Who You Are
How do you stop being anxious, start loving yourself, and start being more confident? One sure is by knowing yourself, and liking the person you are. This may seem strange at first, but usually if you are seeking validation from others it’s because you don’t feel secure in who you are. Don’t feel bad about! Think of it as an exciting opportunity to explore yourself without expectations or limitations in certain areas of your life (only in ways you feel comfortable with, of course).
It is also a chance to reinvent yourself in certain areas. You may have some false ideas about yourself that you are trapped in. For example, you may have always believed that you aren’t a funny person just because some people didn’t laugh at a joke you told ten years ago! But why hold yourself back just because of one small group of people in one fleeting moment of your life? You may actually find that you can be funny if you gave yourself half a chance again.
Just because you may be learning different sides to yourself and are open to exploring more things, it doesn’t mean that you don’t know who you are in other aspects. Sticking to your morals and beliefs is a powerful thing, and being uniquely you is even better. You are interesting because there is only one you. Note what is unique about you, what you love about yourself, and what you feel deeply about and then let that be your personal brand.
Keep these things positive. Think about what you might improve as well. Take care of your appearance. It doesn’t have to mean spending money you don’t have on expensive clothes and perfumes or colognes. As long as you feel good about how you look – no matter what small changes you’ve made – that is all that matters.
Sometimes we all just need a little guidance in life. There are online and local courses that one might take that can teach etiquette, confidence building, how to be a better conversationalist, and so much more. These classes give you a safe and guided environment that make it fun and easy to learn. You are bound to walk away from them having learnt something that helps you feel more vibrant and secure.
The time will eventually come to take all that you have learnt and discovered and put it into practice. This doesn’t mean pushing yourself unnecessarily. It simply means being more vibrant where you would have been shy or awkward; or saying yes to something that you’ve always wanted to do but didn’t have the confidence to try before. That’s what it’s about – living life to the fullest.